There is a Cuban Doctor who lives down the road from me. He is 28, skinny and intense. His English is better than my Tetun but his Tetun is abysmal. He is a volunteer. We have been given instructions not to collaborate with these individuals because of some bad cold war blood between our countries, but what of that? Sometimes I go and hang out on his clinic porch when the evenings get too long. We talk about this and that. And below is one of our more interesting conversations. Enjoy.
Doctor: These damn goats. They is crapping always crapping in my yard! Is ordered yes? Look! It is every feet, every two feet. Now no crap. Now Crap! And again. No crap, Now Crap!
Me: So you’re a volunteer.
Doctor: Oh yes, forty of us come here to volunteer. But is not uhh.. not unordinary. Not in Cuba. In Cuba everybody volunteers.
Me: But if everybody-
Doctor: Ahhh see! You say is no good right? No. In Cuba everybody volunteers, that is law. You volunteer military, you soldier three years. You volunteer doctor, like me, you come here! And goats they crap on everything! No. You volunteer two years you doctor, nurse same, health official same. Is the LAW. But Cubans they want to volunteers. Now, law. No law volunteer. My father he was volunteer military, my uncles one aunt all volunteer.
Me: We call that conscription.
Doctor: NO! Well I don’t know what you say, conscription. But way you say, cooonscriiiiption bleeeah… no good! You think people forced because is law. I have met people from united states. You think Cuba is Russia!
Me: Well yeah, but with better cigars.
Doctor: HA! Yes Cuba is having best cigars and is dancing all the time yes? And in United States everyone is having a horse and a hat and is rich and is fat. (laughs) You say. You say is true, other people is in their head.
Me: But I’m just kidding.
Doctor: Yes. But before me, before we meet is you just kidding? No! Cuba is good. People volunteer because family is volunteer. Law to make sure government pays. Is that. Is school, then volunteer then marry beautiful Cuban girl. Then dance all the time smoke best cigars in world. Is, wait, is something all Cubans do. All Cubans do together. Know eachother.
Me: When we hear about Cuba in America they always tell us about propaganda and how there are these long speeches by Fidel Castro that you have to listen to.
Doctor: And when I is hear about America I hear about FAT. FAT FAT FAT all the time watch Tv and eat. No talk and everybody mean to everybody. Castro is good man. And we is listening to him or not because he is talking about Cuba. We is interested because is our country. Cuba has fences not GOAT CRAP!
Me: We aren’t all fat.
Doctor: No , some is skinny. I see in magazine all time. Girls is skinny look like boys, no meat!
Me: Yeah we have those.
Doctor: And other thing. Is baseball. Cuba best at baseball. Beat Japan at Baseball. But every year world series, United States wins. Invite Cuba? NO! Invite Japan? NO! So why world series?
Me: So Cubans don’t like America?
Doctor: America? Peru is America. Canada is America. Cuba is America. You is United states. Remember, yes?
Me: so Cubans don’t like people from the united States?
Doctor: Yes, but no. Many Cubans not like United states. Many Cubans run too United States. Scientist, doctor. Is big problem. But here is Timor. Is no United States- is no Cuba. I am Cuban, I dance, I sing, I play guitar. You United States, you work too hard, you always talk hard stuff, big idea stuff. But you are in Cuba. Many people in Cuba like you. Work too hard , always worry. In your country you have many like me.
Me: Not Doctors.
Doctor: You know all doctors in United States?
Ladies and Gentlemen A Cuban Doctor.
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